absolutely nothing

 " We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay our hearts if they don't stay in our lives" Assalamualaikum and hi there, so my problems got worse. I'm not gonna talk much, or i will lol. But it's a pretty hard post well i've been having a hard time lately. Blog is where i express my feelings. Well it's like my best friend. I wish blogger was real. Okay done with the crap let's begin. My life is ruin i just can't take anything back. As i said i'm falling apart. And no one will listen my silent pain, the pain that i bear everyday. I feel like i want to cry but i do, cry every night i look at the conversations i was shocked. I have to i needed the truth, when i know the truth it truly kills me. My heart it hurts so much. I feel like i wasn't deserve to live. People mock me i don't mind, they say that i'm afraid of them. I don't and why should i? Cause your not my shoes, you can't feel my pain. Well may...

"They judge me before they even know me. That's why i'm better off being alone" Assalamualaikum and hi, so as my previous update as you can see it's pretty hard to handle this situation. Well it did worked out. But i still i don't know. I did this cause i'm afraid of losing part of my life forever. Forever. People can judge me, but if they're in my shoes? They can feel the pain that i'm feeling right now. Seeing your own best friend is moving away, doesn't that hurts. It's killing me in this situation, i just can't bare to keep my feelings. I keep crying everynight saying what if someday... what if someday... i am tired, i feel restless maybe it's true what they said about me. I'm a hypocrite well i'm sorry i'm a one of a hypocrite girl. I just want to my best friend to know that she's everything to me. And nothing can tear us apart. I hope nothing will. No one understand me besides her. When we fight i just can...

"Try to screw up and see who will stay" Assalamualaikum and hello there, so this month is kinda hard well theres a lot of crying. For me lah. So here it goes first world problems. I'm not trying to offend anyone but it's true. First of all i'm sorry, if my harsh words. Okay so here it goes. People come and go yeap that's right and i tried to be a good friend well maybe forever isn't like we used to promised. Maybe it's my mistake who knows. But your part of my life, i can't stand fighting. Well some of my friends, friend with me just to took care of my heart or maybe was forced too. That's what the situation right now. Actually it is nothing to do with my best friend nothing. People, friends? When i screw things up nobody's stays. I'm not kidding you. I'm not blaming anyone but this is true. I'm tired of this drama, i feel left out sometimes, well i was never perfect in their eyes. I was never. Well maybe i'm to selfish, ...

"Just smile it's worth it" Assalamualaikum and hello there! Hey it's been weeks i didn't post anything it's because i'm kinda busy and forgot to update and what to update. I'm not gonna update the same thing every weeks, telling that i miss my crush well readers, i have to tell about other story. As i say it's not that boring isn't it? If its boring, haiyya you ha lol it's fine. So yesterday i went to school i have this Kursus and actually we have gotong-royong sekolah. But i didn't attend to it i attend to the kursus. At first, it was super fun and then i got bored and everything is boring. Literally i'm not kidding hahaha. Went to the morning session well i don't have that feeling well that excitement. It sort of like another boring day. Well if my crush i said if, were still in my school i won't miss going to the activity in the morning session harhar. Hahaha i'm so pathetic. Who knows.. We finished at 12:30 and i ...

Monster and Ernie, 2009 Assalamualaikum and hello there, well it's been a long time i did not update anything. Okay let's start, so it's been 5 weeks of school oh and it's February yeah, it's been two months well i got 9 more months to go. Yes i'm counting hehe, it's two months i haven't seen him, yes i do miss him. This is so pathetic, i know. I just don't know how. Sometimes i feel sad like for myself for doing this, I feel stupid, well sacrificing for someone that doesn't even love me, Yes that's stupid I'm not me anymore, well i do feel better lately but i feel i'm not me. Get it? look, i feel i'm defending myself for a stupid thing like this situation well i'm not blaming anyone okay. But this is kinda stupid of me doing this. It's just like i'm a police and i'm letting go a prisoner that kills millions of innocent people. I'm not saying my crush is killer, idiot. It's just like the same situation if...