rock bottom

These past few months have been so difficult to me and to my family. My dad is no longer my dad. He's no longer the superhero I once knew. Ever since I left home to continue my studies, everything seem fine even though he was constantly sick. When my semester finished, everything is different here. My home seem like a hospital, my dad is on his bed. Skinny, brittle, weak. My heart broke into the littlest pieces. It is so different it seem like it's no longer home and it's no longer him. It's strange how things can change so easily, how the times back then were just memories. One night, I thought I would lose him. I really I thought I would. He's my world, my gift from god and I don't think I'm ready to let him go. I want him to see me graduate, to see me get my first stable job, to see me on that stage receiving an excellent scroll from the best university, to see me achieve my dreams, to see me in front of him smiling and smiling. I just want him to get well, to be as strong as he was back then. My number one hero, my number one nagging machine, my number one supporter, my number one dictionary, my number one in anything there is in this world, my ayah...my loving father. As much as I want him to hurt less I don't want him to leave my family and I. We will never be complete without him. My days will never be complete without sending you cats pictures, sending you endless hearts. I don't want to stop doing that, I want to continue doing that until I finally see that happiness in your eyes. I just want you to be happy when you finally take your final breath. I don't want you to be sick, I want everything to be fine. To be the way it was. Ayah, please stay. Don't leave me.