january

it's been awhile hasn't it? the beginning of 2014 isn't what i expected memories keep on flashing back. every inch of space i make every step i take reminded me of him. every inch of space in that school reminds me of him. funny thing is, i actually waited maybe he would come up and line up to buy a sandwich or maybe a mineral water. i keep on looking at the same old corner where you always sit, i keep on looking at the area where you always parked your motorcycle, i keep on looking at the building we used to study in, i wonder what did any of my teachers thought of you. i wonder maybe you might wait at the gate whenever school ends, i wonder maybe you're somewhere in kajang. i stand at the same old place where i waited for my father to pick me up and sneak a peak at the same old place where i could see you walk but you weren't there. you weren't there to fill those empty spaces, you weren't lining up to buy the same old thing at canteen, you weren't with your friends sitting at that corner laughing or joking around, your motorcycle weren't there, you weren't at the gate waiting for me, you weren't walking at the same place anymore. i wish it was still 2013, if it is i could see you everyday i wouldn't mind of getting hurt by just seeing you around school made me feel better made me feel safe. i never thought you would leave such a big impact in my life, i promised that i would try to forget you but these memories they're scraping every bit of me. none is left just my bitter heart. i know i'm not what you wanted, i'm not what you craved for but just note this whatever you do please do it because you love it, remember once you told me your ambition? be that person. maybe in the future we could meet again or start over. i wish things end differently but it was great knowing you. this made me feel empty/lost that space you once filled inside me was gone i'm not sure why it is. i guess since you've gone it went away too didn't it? i hope you're doing fine, how's everything? how does it feel not to worry about school anymore haha it sounds fun. i hope you're doing fine, don't mind me i'm just here everyday... missing every bit about you.