stop

i am tired of people asking me why i do it, asking me to stop doing it, asking me to be normal. i didn't know where did this came from, in the first moment we moved here it suddenly just came out of nowhere. i didn't asked for it i never did. i tried to stop but i just couldn't i tried to be normal as you wish but i just couldn't. i'm sorry if i let you down, ashamed you. trust me i am trying to figure out how to stop this. it kills me when you ask me why, when you say that i'm not normal. among all of them i am the most problematic one, i just don't know how to stop. just once i just want you to understand what am i facing its like a dull knife stabbing me. i compare myself to everyone, to see how normal they are see how perfect you see them. i just want you to understand. forgive me for not being a good daughter, not being a good sister. i can't bear it alone, nobody knows how i really feel i just need someone to understand but i know that no one could. no one could.

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