Bloom

I'm sorry if i've changed these past few days turned in to the quiet one, i'm sorry if i push you away. I don't want to burden anyone with my problems again, enough is enough. This time let me burden myself with all of my problems and all. Walking alone makes me want to continue to push people away, lately i feel down most of the time.. 

But i think no one noticed that since i showed them a bit of my happy side. I want them to know how it breaks me each and every time its just that i think that they won't understand like i said this time i'm gonna face it alone. They're my happy pills yea i know i should at least share my problems but they're having such a great time i don't want to be such a mood killer telling my problems when they got lots of things going through they're mind. Let's just keep it as a secret perhaps? 

I love them more than anything i'm afraid what i'm doing right now might loose them one day, but i hope not. The pain, sorrowness i bear is killing me inside out. I feel empty most of the time, i feel like punching my chest, silent is the only thing that can reflect to my pain. I don't know how am i going to face it each and every day of my life. Yes i did expected good things on this month. But neglecting my self from others there's a bit joy actually. Ha 

But i don't know what to look up on anymore, i'm not tired its just that i'm sad knowing what everything has become this past few days. It's been a week, nothing changed. Apparently i've been dreaming about him a lot these past few days, it felt real because that's what i do watch him from afar and that's what happened in the dream i dreamt. It's quiet interesting maybe that's the only way to fix my agony. 

“I was like a lost moon—my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation—that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity.”