I Don't Know


Hi there, i thought that september was going to be a great month but i expect to much every air that i exhaled is pain. I'm kinda tired and i'm just letting everything be, but letting everything be that way hurts its sort of ignoring everything but you actually care about it. I just don't know what to do anymore seeing my life falling each day is what can i only do.

I know its stupid but moving on isn't easy i like him too much and i didn't know or didn't expect this would happen. But when people say don't give up keep trying. Why would i keep trying cause i already know the answer it would always be a "No, i'm sorry i just can't be with you" i want him to like me oh trust me i would really want that. But i know that it would be impossible.

I'm sad on what have i became, i'm trying to be happy by ignoring and just keep trying but i can't. The more i say to myself "just stop" the more i try the harder i'm convincing myself that maybe there's some space in his heart for you. But face the fact self he doesn't feel the same way for you. I just want all of this to go cause i'm tired. Tired

Yes, he made me feel different and i like how i feel when i talk to him. Trust me nothing excites me more than talking to him. I love how he smiles, talks everything about him defines perfection i really do love him. But i can't do anything to make him like me, i don't want to force someone to like me that's stupid. I shouldn't confess cause i know it would be probably awkward and we won't talk like how we are right now.

Let it be, let it all be like this. I like how we are right now although he doesn't know how i feel for him its okay. At least we're friends i won't hope on someone too much anymore. Hm but i can smile a little bit while having a really nice conversation with him. I like how we are right now and i wouldn't want to change that, let it be. I know it will give a big impact to me, a really big one. But at least i'm happy how we are right now, maybe.

; There's something i've been meaning to tell you, i'm sorry i can't find the right words



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

end

It is almost the end of the year. Time sure does pass by really quick. Too quick, I barely could even catch up. It almost feels like time is winning over me. Time. I wish I had much more time spent on myself. Making myself smile Making myself important Making myself less miserable Making myself happy. I wish I could at least put myself first. Love myself first. Make myself happy, first. Just as much as how I want to make people around me feel happy, feel comfortable and feel at ease. Why don't I feel the same way. Why don't I feel happy? Why don't I feel comfortable? Why don't I feel at ease? Why don't I feel....happy. Why can't people notice? I'm slowly breaking apart. Why can't people notice the sadness in me. Why can't people notice that every single day is torturous. I honestly don't know what am I even feeling, but why is there isn't a single bit of happiness in my body. Why does every day hurts. Every part of myself hurts. ...
Read more

Daddy, Mummy, Baby

Image
Assalamualaikum and hello there, well today i spent my day with my sister and my dad.We went to the Museum and we took some pictures.Actually my sister wants to take pictures around Kuala Lumpur their buildings are very fascinating and we also took some pictures at Kajang Silk highway.It was fun. Museum was packed well it's Sunday obviously and it is School Hols, if umi was there it will be more fun.But it's been a long time i didn't spent time with daddy.So we did it was just perfect we learn about the pre-historical and a lot.I like history a lot discovering it's fun but i never got A in my History Paper yeah haha. Yesterday and Friday my cousin got married, well Friday is the day that they Nikah and Saturday bersanding.It was very tiring but it was fun i spent most of my time with cousins and aunt's and also uncle's.I ate alot this week i gain 3kg i better cut the fat ait? haha.It's been fun though hm.I know this is unbelievable but i do not want to l...
Read more

october update

Assalamualaikum, it has been months since my last update. I have loads of happy news, Alhamdulillah my dad has recovered not saying fully but he still is recovering. He gained weight, he even drove me to Seremban couple of times. I'm really happy that everything is back the way it was. He nags and sometimes it annoys me, he gets angry when i'm late, he's that lazy pakcik whenever I suruh he cepat hahaha. It's been nice knowing that he is well and everything is. I'm back in uni after a 5 months break, I know right lama betul. Sem 2 is kind of hard but I know I can manage, I can get through this if I put my mind into it.
Read more