Reasons

"I'm learning to move on, i know its hard but you have to try somehow"

Assalamualaikum and hi there. Its been awhile isn't it? Hahaha yeap it is. Well lately, i've been kinda busy with school. Mid-term is coming and i'm working my butt off. So here i go telling all my problems. Like you even care. Anyways yeah.

I'm fine yes fine. This month i think its going to be the most hardest month every firstly, i have to sit on an exam which is mid-term. I worked my butt off and hoping that i could answer those questions calmly. But, after exam there's this huge impact is coming. Hanis is leaving and the date is getting nearer. I'm really sad. 

People that i love the most is leaving. Everyone changed, i changed. It's a major heartbreak. I don't know what should i do. What should say. What should react. It's speechless. I'm not saying it worthless. But it's sad, word cannot speak how am i right now. My life is really changed. Those happy days we're gone. Those laughter we're fake, whats the use of being happy when your dying inside.

I am depressed. I just can't find the old me again it's just buried deep down below. It's hard. Teenage life is killing me. I really hate it so much. I really want to get out from schoo and l let it end faster. Its just because of school life i'm really changed. I really hate the person that i'm becoming right now. I'm the quite one, the one who likes to gaze a lot. But all i do is just smile hide that pain in my heart. I feel like there tons of bullets at my heart.

I really didn't expect that someday i'll be like this. This wasn't what i wanted. But my life is "written" to be like this. I have Allah by my side. He's the only one will always hear my sadness the one who will always understand and i'm thankful. Maybe there's a reason why Allah did that. There's always a reason why. Hey, still remember i still like that one dude.

Ahahah, yeah because of meeting him i found my happiness but yeah pain also. But seeing him happy is really the source of my happiness. But i will to move on. Forget the past and just go forward cause you will never know what's ahead. So i guess that's all if there's a free time insyaAllah, i will update. Anyways wish me luck for my mid-term :)

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