Maybe You Did Forget Me

"Sometimes you can't choose what stays and what fades away"

Assalmaualaikum and hello there. This week has been the toughest week. I did cried for some stupid things. But it was really a tough week though. Exams, exams exams yeap. I did cried about exams, i'm afraid that my marks aren't good enough for my parents to be proud of me.  But actually some of them aren't about examinations it's about something that saddens me. No it's not about my crush.

Everyone is sort of avoiding me, i feel so invisible and unwanted to everybody. The loneliness that haunting me these days are just horrible. I maybe can smile or laugh but no one knows what's in my heart. The pain i bear everyday, the things i see everyday, the actions that's happening around me is effecting me. 

I maybe not the same girl i used to be.  But i'm hoping that i can be a better me. It's the best for me. But wanting that feeling of unwanted, been avoid too is really hard to forget. Maybe people just forget about me it's like magic once you snap your finger everyone forgets. Maybe i'm just they're second option. 

I never wanted to be like this, i never told anyone about this. It's my problem i shall bear it alone. Well, telling the world with using blogger calms a litle bit. At least, "someone" isn't bored posting my blog updates every week, month. Well thank god i have blogger and i have Allah, He's the only one knows how i feel. These feelings, Allah je tahu.

It's not just these feelings there's more. More hurtful feelings. More and more each day. I just want to sleep forever and one day when i woke up these feelings just pop-ed out from my head. I wish feeling-less. Hahaha, i know it's weird but i really do. I'm not saying that i'm not thankful, i am thankful but the pain i bear are just too much. I can't bear it anymore. No one is listening my sorrow i'm crying as hard as i can to let those feelings out of my head, heart. 

Sometimes i punch really hard on my head and my chest. Saying that why do i keep burdening people with problems. Why. I just don't want to burden them. I just want to live a life like 2010 again. The most fun year, the most precious year. Why did it went away. Hm

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