I Guess So


Assalamualaikum and hi there. So happy holidays for malasyians and the whole country((who's have a vacay right now)) so um this thing was playing on my mind idk whether it's normal or not it's really random. I'm so awkward with this feeling, its just that idk whether what's wrong and what's right. I'm really confused.

I don't know but some part of me thinks that i just moved on, i mean i don't care about him anymore. I hardly even get those butterflies anymore and i don't even care whether he is online or offline. It's sort of a tsunami i mean it just take my feelings for him away. Is it okay? Am i moving on or i have moved on or smthing?

But sometimes i do feel that way and then the next day i'm that person that cares again. I just don't know what's wrong with me. Am i having idk but what's wrong with me. If this moving on feeling is going through about a week, month or anything i hope its real. Its time to move on, i mean i hold my feelings for him long enough.

I guess i have a crush on someone perhaps? No, obviously that's a no. I don't have a crush on someone. I'm sort of tired of these crush-es. It's fine though. But i'm afraid when i woke up i'm still that girl that still loves him cares about him. I'm not saying that i don't but having a crush ond him and ended up hurting myself. Cause i know that would be stupid if he loves me back. Recklessly stupid

I'm afraid of listening to sad songs and remembered again, that i still love him. But i think deep down in my heart i still do. I mean he treats me like a total stranger, like i'm not worthy of his time. Well i'm sorry though. But i guess when your in love you were to excited that maybe he does not bother of your annoying-ness. I guess so. But he's a nice guy, i know. Maybe he weren't for me. 

But the weird part is why there's time i feel like i moved one and sometimes i feel like i still love him. What with these mixed feelings i'm having right now. I'm really am confused. Everything is so confusing. I just want to know what is the real feeling, is it the part moved on or still loving him. Or i'm just succumb? I think i am succumb.

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