Is This Real?

"Love is like falling down, in the end you're left hurt, scarred, and with a memory of it forever."

Assalamualaikum and hi there, oh and happy holidays. Yah, so this post is kinda sad well here it goes. You know that i love right? Ya, i still love him though, i tried to let him go and just continue my life and be happy. Well i am happy but not as always, look i'm not blaming anyone even him. He knows that i love him and maybe or idk he wants me to move on? Probably.

But if he wants me too, i will be i don't know when. I'm not being selfish or anything hut i do want him to be that special someone but i think of it hey it's impossible, he seems so happy with his life. And i don't want to bother his life nor ruin his life. Let him be happy maybe it's not my time yet, i have a long journey i mean really long. Maybe we weren't meant to be together. But i do miss him, i mean it's been 4 months we haven't meet. 

And i just want to bring back all those sweet memories not to anything but i just to share it with you guys. It's been 11 months we know each other well it's nearly a year, but i know he doesn't count but i do. I still remember those sweet memories, our conversations but i know he doesn't feel anything. Sometimes i feel i'm the only option and he's bored or no one to talk with. I only exist when he's bored. Like everybody else too. When they're bored an have no one to talk with they will talk to me although maybe they do not want too. Look, maybe our conversations never meant anything to him, but it means everything to me. Although just a "Hi" "How are you" "What are you doing" yeah it means everything.

I still remember you called me "dear" i mean i was flippin' happy lol. And i just remind myself everyday "Look, he's someone's get a grip! just stop" punching my heart and i hope that the feeling will just go away or just fade away. I just want him to be my friend although i want to be more than just a friend. But he's not mine, he has someone that is better than me. Firstly, i'm not craving for sympathy or anything. It's just something i want to share. Well i have no one to share this feeling with, yes i do have a best friend but i don't her to be annoyed with the same problems over and over again. Let me just keep at myself.

I miss him i mean who doesn't well i was hoping i can see him next week insyaAllah, yeah. But what the heck i won't say "Hey, i miss you. How are you?" i am just gonna say "Hey" and just wave and sigh. I have no idea what to do, well you can call me shy. But i'm not like that but i hope that he will make that "hey, heyya!" or conversation alive. But everything starts with a "Hi" even my feelings for him. Well actually it started with "Terima kasih" ehehe since i added him on facebook so yeah.

After that, he followed me on twitter i was happy so happy. And were not close like best friends or anything no. Were just friends. Friends, yeah. I know this is my own problems and i don't think that he ever think of me or even think about that i'm liking him. It's just something that's not important for him probably. But i want to fall in love, or just cut the crappy falling in love to someone that wont like me back. I have a lot of crushes lol but i think he's the only true crush i mean like i like that one guy and then we sorta good friends, and the love just went away. 

But this special guy i don't think it won't fade away. But i want the love for him to fade away but our friendship is still alive. Were still talk to each other. But he's busy and i never got a chance to talk to him. I really want to but he's not there i mean he's not online. But seeing him happy, it really brings my mood on and seeing him on my twitter's timeline really bring my mood on. I can see that he is so happy with he's life. And he is so happy. Which is really great. Thats what i want. Well, i am happy lately, but seeing you happy really makes me more happier. I hope that your happy for the rest of your life with your love ones.

Thank you, for saying those "HI" and wave and smile. Thank you although it's just "Hey, it's just a hi, wave and smile" but it's everything and i hope were still friends, i hope so. But if you feel awkward it's okay. I'm glad to call you my crush although your just my crush. But i'm glad and thank you. And i know i shouldn't say this but i really want too. I love you and you will always be in my heart and it will never fade away. I love you.

It Will
Never 
Fade Away

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