21/03/2012

"I don't know whether I should be happy because we're friends, or sad because that's all we'll ever be."

Assalamualaikum and hi there, um so this post is about two days ago. Well i didn't have much time to online using the computer, sorry though. Oh yeah as you know the date up there yah for those who knows about it hm yeah :), for those who didn't read my old post i mean my really old old post eheheh. So here it goes :)

So it's wednesday, and i got koko so i have to go in the morning session so i was superly duperly excited well as you can see i can meet my crush so i thought that we can talk and laugh something like that. But we didn't, yes we didn't. So i'm gonna start, so i reached school at 8 something, and i went to the canteen cause i have koko. I waited and waited until its end, so i went down to "Dataran Ilmu" which is kinda like the place that we gather and went to class. After that, i saw some of my ex-seniors they were waiting for their result, so theey just sat there and talk. 

As i sit, and there were a lot of people coming in, my heart beats faster and faster, i was so excited and i can't stop smiling. So my friend decided to go to 7 eleven it was 2 block away from school, so we walked and finally so we have to cross the road to get there. And as i walked some dude was pointing at me, i thought he was just showing some directions so i just kinda sigh at the moment, and that guy is riding a motorcycle as a passenger, so i look closely the rider was smiling at me i was like o-o, eh kenapa ni. And i look closely it was my crush, he was smiling at me and i felt those butterflies in my tummy again i haven't felt that in years, so i was smiling at him happily i nearly cried.

Cause i was too happy to see him, i'm like "i haven't seen you in months, you have no idea how i miss you" so we rushed to buy drinks and went back to school. So i did saw him again he was walking and he smiled again, he was kinda busy so i didn't disturb him although i really want to talk to him, but suddenly he just gone. I mean he was really gone i can't find him anywhere while i wait for them to line up to take they're results he weren't there so i kinda wander where did he went, did he got home already. So i didn't got chance to meet him, like i gazed about talking to him, taking pictures with him. I really want too but maybe it will never come true.

I was really stressed out about it, so i kept quite for like 2 days since that day, mixed feelings. I don't know weather i'm happy or not. I just don't know. I can't. So i kept quite i did all my homework(s) at school and my table mate asked me "Why are you so quite, syafiqah. Its been 2 days you are so quite" i'm sorry i'm just i don't know whats wrong with me. I should be happy and thankful meeting my crush again although it is the last time we gonna met. But i really want him to make this moment a memory or maybe that day really made his day, seeing me but i don't think so. I'm nothing to him, i'm just his friend. Yes were just friend. B

But that day, he's smile was good as heaven he is perfect, he's smile really made my day. If i had a chance to stop the time i will keep his smile in my memory. Or staring at he's smile just for awhile would be great. Yea, i may sound like a total freak i'm sorry though. But i really miss him. Not seeing him at school anymore and not seeing his smile often anymore. It was my only chance and i kinda blew it. Maybe takda rezeki agaknya nak bercakap dengan dia. But it's fine meeting him was great and random! hahahaha. Dear crush, if you are reading this thank you for making my day, and thank you for the conversations those silly ones really made me smiled and thank you, i know i really don't have to say this but I love you.

 "What I feel for you seems less of earth and more of a cloudless heaven" 


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