Being Unwanted Isn't A New Thing For Me


                             

Assalamualaikum and hello there! today was fun yeah i watched Breaking Dawn for the third time haha , that picture was taken at mph midvalley.I was bored and i took em' and i suddenly gazed about him it was weird i gazed alot about how pathetic i am liking him.Now i'm just afraid by afraid i mean afraid to fall in love.Yeah i know my tweets are just so positive, optimistic but that's not the real me.Maybe outside i can be like that but the inside? only Allah knows how i felt after that incident.

Okay guys let me tell you about the incident.Here it goes , i was early because Aliff needed my help to buy a gift for Hanis so i came early and i saw Hana and her gang lol and i greeted them and suddenly Hana told me everything i was shocked well i wasn't i felt mad/sad/happy i don't know how to describe that.It hurts so badly i just fell and Hana told me "Syafiqah, janganla nangis" i'm speechless and i feel that i'm weak to stand up my knees were shaking my hands were cold.I felt like i'm dying or i just jumped of a cliff.
I never wanted that day to happened but i'm sorry guys am not telling the whole story it's just a lil bit of it.I sat at there and wander my hands were still shaking and cold i waited until 12:30 and waited and waited and then Aliff came i told him and he was speechless.We walked and i was in silence i never do that before the whole day i was in silence even my teacher asks me why i'm so quiet and i have to lied and i said i have a sore throat.

You guys have no idea what that incident hit me alot.I feel like i'm ripping my heart and just throw it away and that night i didn't ate i just cried the whole day without eating or anything my mum worried about me and i just said i feel feverish and my mum said go take your medicine well i didn't.Somehow , i thought that these things wouldn't happen well it did it hit me like a bullet passing through my heart the pain it hurts! I just wish that these things will just fade away in my entire life just go away.But i can't the incident will always be in my memories haunting me and making me loose my self-confidence.

Being unwanted isn't a new thing for me i faced it like everyday.Well you guys maybe said well my life is more miserable well mine is the most.Can i be happy again? The incident happen at 11/11/11 the most perfect date ever.But for me it was the worst day ever i never wanted that to happen Allah is testing me but it will never fade away i will remember every single word that you said.I know who i am being me sucks.Hm , can i be happy after that incident happen? Well i think that's a no.Being any kind of happy is better than being miserable about someone you can’t have.



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