absolutely nothing

i don't know how much longer i should wait for a miracle to happen. i do believe in miracles but believing in this isn't part of it, i miss you so much i feel lost, numb. the fact that i can't do anything hurts. it hurts to hold on onto something that was never yours why do i do this to myself. sometimes i wonder why do i even like someone beyond my league, beyond my expectations. at the end of the day i end up hurting myself, i keep on lying to people that i'm fine, i'm great, i'm definitely alright. this frame it has been covering all those sadness i bear. i'm afraid to tell my friends about it because i know they might get bored of it me being sad for the same old thing. i just don't know why i can't let go i really want to, looking at how awful things are right now its ripping my soul apart. we don't even talk to each other anymore, we don't even see each other anymore. i wouldn't mind not talking to you, seeing you everyday is enough...

it's been awhile hasn't it? the beginning of 2014 isn't what i expected memories keep on flashing back. every inch of space i make every step i take reminded me of him. every inch of space in that school reminds me of him. funny thing is, i actually waited maybe he would come up and line up to buy a sandwich or maybe a mineral water. i keep on looking at the same old corner where you always sit, i keep on looking at the area where you always parked your motorcycle, i keep on looking at the building we used to study in, i wonder what did any of my teachers thought of you. i wonder maybe you might wait at the gate whenever school ends, i wonder maybe you're somewhere in kajang. i stand at the same old place where i waited for my father to pick me up and sneak a peak at the same old place where i could see you walk but you weren't there. you weren't there to fill those empty spaces, you weren't lining up to buy the same old thing at canteen, you weren't wit...