absolutely nothing

i miss the warmth of your smile, those calm eyes, i miss those happiness that you brought in to my life. you are the light of my life, you are the reason why this frown of mine turned upside down but seeing you in pain it made me hurt. if i could have one wish, i would want you to be happy. i don't mind if you can't see what i see, you're a wonderful person, indeed you are. whatever it is i know i'm still a nobody to you but i just wanted you to know that this feeling i don't think it'll fade away. i still linger for your presence, i miss your voice, i miss your face. i just really miss you and it's ridiculous to miss someone this much. all those sleepless nights, those papers i wasted writing about you, those tears i cried for you, those laughter i laugh because of you. it was you all along nobody ever made me feel this way, you are something to me i wish you could see that.  “Leaving feels good and pure only when you leave something important, something ...

i keep telling myself it'll get better but its not. its getting worse because all i want is if only he could give me a chance to prove that i love him with all my heart and only god knows how true my love is for him but unfortunately it only happens in movies, i don't think someone like me deserves that kind of chance. i convinced myself that this is it i'm gonna start forgetting everything that ever happened  and start moving on, be happy once again but i was wrong here i am remembering all those memories i've made, crying over everything i chose to be sad all the time. honestly, all i want is you to listen to me just once how important you are in my life, how big the impact made, how it changed me and made the person who i am right now. you've become into something i never want to lose, you're important to me, i love you more than anything could offer. i know you will reject me right away but that's okay all i want is just to tell you how i really love you...

i guess i won't be seeing you around anymore aite? i'll definitely miss that charming smile, i'll miss when you always push your hair back, i'll miss those eyes, i'll surely miss you. i know this won't be the last time cause hey it's kajang it ain't that big. i know we will still be chatting online but yea it kinda suck to not see you like i always do. see you goof around with your friends, your laugh. i really hope that you will achieve all of your dreams, i won't stop praying for your success and maybe one day you might build that beach house i've always wanted haha. i don't need you to see my effort cause i know that you never will but i will always support you, i will always have your back. i really want to thank you for making me happy like really happy and for that i'll let you go. “All that is left will be memories, and eventually they, too, will vanish like dust.”  —   1Q84,  Haruki Murakami

here i am looking through all the photos i've taken past the year. i know it has been a shitty year but i think i will be missing it a lot. a lot of things happened, there is just tons of memories i love every bit of it. i can admit this guy i'm in love with is the reason why i will miss a lot haha. memories such a funny thing but they are the ones i will always treasure the most. i still love you though, yea times maybe hard sometimes and i may fall off my feet but i do have the strength to get myself up again i know one day this feeling will fade away but in the meantime let me cherish it while it is still there. i really want to say it to your face that i love you without feeling afraid it doesn't matter what the answer might be, i just want to say it how you just make me fall in love with you. but i know it won't happen yea. “You should always be taking pictures, if not with a camera then with your mind. Memories you capture on purpose are always more vivid than t...