absolutely nothing

im glad to have them in my life, they take the pain away. all of them. once in awhile, i just wish to always be with them, by their side. i know they will stay through thick or thin they worth more than gems, gold, platinum they worth so much more. when im with them the pain i carry is somehow gone but its not. i look through his photos on hanis's phone, he looked great. i shouldn't do that he's someone else's boyfriend i should respect that and just carry on. but it hurts to know. i still love him with all my heart, the more i wanted it to go the more it hurts. im glad that he is happy, he looks really happy. that's great even though i couldn't have your heart but at least i can still like you from a distance, in silence. forgive me, but that is all i can do. forgive me, for doing this. forgive me, for liking you too much. forgive me

i've never felt so hurt, so depressed, so devastated in my entire life. i don't even believe the hope for me to be happy is there. being happy hurts, it hurts. i don't know but whenever i want to be happy there's always this huge disappointment come crashing my heart. this year it has been the hardest one. i feel weak, walking with bruises, shots at my heart, my chest. my chest hurts. i've never felt so broken. i feel pathetic to feel like this the light inside me is gone. i am happy for you so happy, knowing that you've found what you have been looking for but it hurts to know. it hurts so much. writing is the only thing that i can do, feeling up the void inside my heart. i'm trying to mend it but i can't i just couldn't i'm really devastated knowing that i'm falling inside a big black hole and i will never see that light once again. i felt like there was someone just pushed off a cliff. falling deeper and deeper. i just want it all to...